Signs of Burnout in Working Moms (And What to Do About It)
If you're a working mom, you probably know what it feels like to constantly be doing something for someone.
You're answering emails while getting everyone ready for school. You're thinking about dinner during a meeting. You're making appointments, remembering schedules, keeping up with work, and somehow trying to find time for yourself somewhere in the middle of all of it.
And eventually, it catches up with you.
Burnout doesn't always happen all at once. Sometimes it looks like just being tired. You tell yourself you're having a busy week, or that things will calm down soon.
But then the busy week turns into a busy month, and you realize you haven't really felt like yourself in a while.
As a therapist who works with women and moms throughout Texas, I hear this a lot:
"I don't even know when this started. I just know I'm exhausted."
If that sounds familiar, you may be dealing with burnout.
What Burnout Can Actually Look Like
Burnout is more than just being tired after a long day. It can start affecting how you feel, how you function, and how you experience your everyday life.
Here are some signs you might notice:
You're tired all the time.
Even when you get some rest, you still feel exhausted. You wake up already thinking about everything you need to get done.
Everything feels like too much.
A spilled drink, a change in plans, or one more question from your kids can feel like the thing that finally pushes you over the edge. It's not necessarily about that one thing. You're just already running on empty.
You don't enjoy things the way you used to.
Things that normally make you happy can start feeling like another responsibility. Even spending time with your family or doing something you usually enjoy may not feel particularly enjoyable anymore.
You're going through the motions.
You're getting everything done, but you don't really feel present. You're checking things off the list and moving on to the next thing without much time to stop and breathe.
You feel guilty when you take time for yourself.
You finally get a few minutes alone, and instead of relaxing, you're thinking about everything else you could be doing. Rest can start to feel like something you have to earn.
You're more irritable than usual.
You have less patience. Little things bother you more. You may find yourself snapping at people and then feeling guilty about it afterward.
If you're recognizing yourself in some of these, it doesn't mean you're doing a bad job.
It may mean you're tired.
Really tired.
Why Burnout Can Be So Common for Working Moms
Being a working mom means you're often balancing multiple roles at the same time.
You're a mom. You're a partner. You're a professional. You're managing a household. You're remembering the things everyone else forgets.
And sometimes you're also the person everyone comes to when they need something.
There can be this constant feeling that you should be able to handle it all.
Work needs you.
Your kids need you.
Your partner needs you.
Your house needs you.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, you're supposed to take care of yourself too.
It's no wonder so many women feel overwhelmed.
The problem isn't necessarily that you're not managing everything well enough.
Sometimes there is simply too much to manage.
What Can Actually Help?
You don't necessarily need to completely change your life overnight.
In fact, when you're already overwhelmed, adding another long list of things you "should" be doing probably isn't going to help.
Instead, start small.
Start Paying Attention to What You're Carrying
Take a minute to think about everything that's taking up mental space right now.
What are you responsible for?
What are you worrying about?
What are you remembering for everyone else?
Sometimes just putting it into words can help you see why you're feeling so overwhelmed.
Give Yourself Permission to Pause
This doesn't have to mean booking a week-long vacation or finding hours of uninterrupted alone time.
Start smaller.
Five minutes where you aren't answering anyone's questions.
A walk around the block.
Sitting in your car for a few minutes before going inside.
Reading a few pages of a book.
Something that gives your brain a chance to stop being "on" for a little while.
Look at the Guilt
A lot of women have a hard time taking care of themselves because they feel guilty doing it.
You might think:
I should be doing something productive.
Someone else needs me.
I don't have time for this.
Other moms seem to handle everything just fine.
But taking care of yourself isn't the opposite of taking care of the people you love.
You are part of the equation too.
Ask for Help
You don't have to wait until you're completely overwhelmed before you let someone know you're struggling.
Maybe that means asking your partner to take something off your plate.
Maybe it means telling a friend that you need support.
Maybe it means talking to a therapist.
You don't have to figure it all out by yourself.
When Burnout Might Be a Sign That Something Needs to Change
Sometimes burnout isn't just about needing a little more rest.
If you've been feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, disconnected, or irritable for weeks or months, it may be worth looking at what's underneath it.
Are you saying yes to things you don't actually have the capacity for?
Are you putting everyone else's needs before your own?
Are you expecting yourself to do everything perfectly?
Are there boundaries you need to set?
Are you struggling with a change in your identity since becoming a mom?
Are you constantly feeling like you're falling behind, no matter how much you accomplish?
These are the kinds of questions therapy can give you space to explore.
Therapy isn't about teaching you how to become better at doing everything.
Sometimes it's about figuring out what you actually need, what isn't working anymore, and what can change.
You Don't Have to Keep Running on Empty
If you're exhausted from constantly trying to keep everything together, you don't have to wait until you completely burn out before reaching out for support.
You can be a good mom and still need a break.
You can love your family and still feel overwhelmed.
You can be capable and still need help.
And you don't have to have everything figured out before you start therapy.
I provide online therapy for women and moms throughout Texas, including the Rockwall area. If you're ready to talk about what you're carrying, get in touch to schedule a consultation.
Tanner Kowaleski, LPC Associate
Ember Skies Counseling
Online therapy for women and moms throughout Texas, including the Rockwall area.
Practicing under the supervision of Casey Davids, LPC-S.
